Zac Efron, Harris Dickinson and Jeremy Allen White in The Iron Claw, 2024(Film Still)

It’s time to fuck, say Paris Olympics organisers

300,000 condoms will be available at the 2024 Paris Olympics for athletes staying at the Olympic village in the City of Love

Gird your loins: the organisers of the Paris Olympics have decreed that the sex recession is over. 

Olympic Village director Laurent Michaud told Sky News that 300,000 condoms will be available at the 2024 Paris Games for the 14,250 athletes staying within the village. This means that there are enough condoms for every male athlete to have sex 42 times during their 16-day stay in the village. “It is very important that the conviviality here is something big,” Michaud said. Oh là là!

Back in 2020 at the Tokyo Games, officials placed an intimacy ban on athletes due to the pandemic. Athletes were asked to limit their physical contact with each other and practise social distancing in a bid to stop the spread of COVID-19.

Normally, the distribution of condoms is a longstanding Olympic tradition. Since the 1988 games in Seoul, organisers have handed out contraceptives to spread awareness of HIV and AIDS. In spite of the pandemic-enforced intimacy ban, 150,000 condoms were even handed out at the 2020 games.

“Working with the athletes commission, we wanted to create some places where the athletes would feel very enthusiastic and comfortable,” Michaud told Sky News.

Olympic Games executive director Christophe Dubi also added that organisers are hopeful the Paris Games will mark a return to normality after the Tokyo Olympics were disrupted and delayed due to the pandemic. “It has to be a celebration and it is a celebration. We’ve had many challenges in the past,” he told Sky News. “In Rio, we faced situations that were amazingly complex [...] What we all want is for unity, peace and a celebration of the best athletes.”

Paris is expected to spend around €2 billion on hosting the games, making this the most costly Olympic construction project yet.

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