In the wake of her death, Alim Kheraj writes a tribute to the Cock Destroyers and the late, great Sophie Anderson
In October 2018, two queer icons were born after a video of adult film stars – Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson – went viral. “Do you know what we are?” More says in the clip, which she shared on social media. “We’re fucking cock destroyers.” “Cock fucking destroyers,” Anderson adds, leaning closer to the camera and suggestively licking her lips.
More and Anderson’s exaggerated feminine aesthetic made them ripe for gay consecration. Both unnaturally blonde, with humongous cosmetically-enhanced breasts and blood-red lips, their self-declared domination over “cocks” was camp (especially when delivered with Anderson’s West Country accent), both erotic and lewd, richly theatrical, and strangely affirming. Here were two women, allegedly fresh from a gangbang, unapologetically in command of their sexuality. They were almost aggressively liberated, in control of their desires and unashamed to express themselves sexually. They were, in a way, what many queer people aspire to be.
For three years, More and Anderson regularly featured in memes. They appeared at gay clubs up and down the country, made a video for Netflix teaching sex education, and even had their own reality TV series, Slag Wars: The Next Destroyer. Underpinning it all was the pair’s energetic and enthusiastic approach to life: “If we make people smile, that’s great,” More once told Interview. “If we make them cum, even better.”
In 2021, however, the Cock Destroyers parted ways. More would go on to retire from adult films, while Anderson continued her career. She married ex-footballer turned adult film actor Oliver Spedding, also known as Damian Oliver, and the pair regularly made adult content together. In November 2023, Croydon FC, Spedding’s former football club, shared the news that he had died.
On December 4, 2023, More, now known as Rebecca Jones, shared the news that Anderson had died aged 36.
“I’m devastated hearing the awful news of Sophie’s passing,” she wrote on Instagram. “We shared some amazing times together and that’s how I’m going to remember her. The bubbly, funny, kind-hearted soul who was outrageous on the outside but also so gentle behind closed doors. We were very close, and we shared a crazy time together that was totally unique to us. That’s how I will remember her. This is so tragic but I know you are now at peace. I will always always love you and hold a special place in my heart.”
The collective grief over Anderson’s death is palpable. After all, while the Cock Destroyers were a meme, they were also so much more. As the writer Sean O’Neill rightly pointed out in a post on X, they embraced their micro-celebrity status with “such heart, aplomb and fun and turned it into something so real”.
Online queer culture readily doles out icon status to everything from the latest pop star to a cunty-looking lamppost, but the Cock Destroyers were different. While their adult content was primarily aimed at cisgender heterosexual men, both More and Anderson dropped little nods to their LGBTQ+ fanbase, be it breaking the fourth wall in videos like More shouting “It’s Sunday, a day of rest, but not for me” out of an open window while wearing a PVC nun’s outfit and being done from behind, or, as Anderson did, sharing little songs about “driving for dick” while, well, driving to get some dick.
Dreadful to hear about Sophie Anderson. Online queer culture turns ten people a day into jokey icons, but not before or since has anyone taken it with such heart, aplomb and fun and turned it into something so real. There for the fundraisers, not just for the bookings. RIP
— Sean (@seanbeegee) December 5, 2023
Naturally, as Anderson and More’s follower numbers climbed, the pair capitalised on their fame, releasing merchandise, novelty singles (see “Driving For Dick”) and the aforementioned reality show. But their interaction with the queer community never felt transactional, nor was it exploitative. Anderson herself was pansexual, while More remains a staunch advocate for the community.
Of course, given their careers in the sex industry, it was unlikely that either More or Anderson would ink deals with Boohoo like other social media stars. Nevertheless, the pair regularly used their newfound platforms for good. They raised money for HIV and sexual health charity the Terrence Higgins Trust by doing a sponsored 10k run on World AIDS Day (I was there and I saw them doing it). They appeared at Pride events. They reached out to LGBTQ+ people on social media who were struggling. They supported trans people during their transition. They fought against homophobia, transphobia and bigotry. They advocated for the rights and dignity of sex workers, helping to destigmatise and humanise those working in adult industries.
Anderson in particular wore her heart on her sleeve. Outside the fantasy captured in her adult content and funny videos, there was a fragility that she shared with her audience. She would regularly make videos, opening each with her signature “Hey guys, girlies and non-binary friends”, to check in with those watching and to share her own experiences as an adult entertainer, a mother, a queer person and her mental health difficulties.
There was always such sincerity and kindness in these videos. Even when things in her own life were difficult, as they were during the last year following numerous health issues related to her implants, Anderson tried to bring a sense of optimism to those who followed her. “I always look at myself like I’m a superhero… in a cape,” she tweeted on November 13. “Destroying what I need to.”
As many of the tributes to Anderson have highlighted, she was a beautiful soul, someone whose heart was as big as her tits. “I have a real positive outlook on everyone being exactly who they want to be – gay, straight, bisexual, be who you are,” she told Dazed in 2019. “Over the years, my confidence sexually has grown and grown and I want to show the younger generation who might struggle that, ‘Babes, don’t give two fucks what people think and just be yourself.’”
It’s a lesson that she taught by example. She will be remembered for her authenticity, her fortitude, her explicit self-expression and her generous spirit. “I don’t want to be one of those normal people who goes through life,” she told the podcast Pop Cult Digest. “I want to help people. I want to make something of myself.” Sophie Anderson may now be gone, but, together with the Cock Destroyers, she will never be forgotten. Long live the Cock Destroyers.
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